Fiancé proposes to his love after a traditional knocking ceremony in Ghana to honor her background

Real Engagements: Daniella & Cary

Black African American fiancee Daniella engagement fiance Cary proposal ring asking knocking ceremony Ghana multicultural kente cloth tradition customs culture engaged parents

Cary’s cheeky introduction to Daniella came on Hinge in 2018 as a comment on a picture of her eating a kebab she’d posted to her profile. The two casually bantered, jokingly poking at one another about their mutual love for kebabs and choice of hair color. Though no actual date was set up through this, until a chance encounter in Washington, DC, where Daniella, a graduate of the University of Toronto, and Cary, a graduate of the College of William and Mary, lived at the time. The random run-in was awkward at first, though Cary was still intrigued and asked Daniella, who possesses a graduate degree from Clark University, what she was doing the next day. Daniella would be busy in Virginia, but told Cary, a software engineer, when and where to meet up with her next. A day later, the two spent six hours at a restaurant laughing, talking and learning about one another. They have been inseparable since.

Something unique about the couple is their shared experience as children of multiple cultural iterations and locations. Cary’s mother hails from Louisiana, though he was raised in Germany. Daniella, who works as credit risk senior manager for a fintech company, is of Ghanaian descent but was born in Manchester, United Kingdom. She attended high school in Washington, DC. And on date two, Daniella made it very clear of her expectations for any future beau of hers to uphold the Ghanaian tradition of proposing to her parents first, in what’s known as the knocking ceremony.

A knocking ceremony is a special event on the journey towards matrimony that is practiced by soon-to-be engaged couples in Ghana and people of Ghanaian descent all over the world. In their culture, the actual wedding day carries meaning only when a knocking ceremony has taken place. Two families begin to become united at this event prior to a proposal and engagement. The literal meaning is that of “knocking on the door” of your love’s family home to be invited to enter. This symbolizes one partner seeking the blessing to enter and the approval of their love’s closest family. Here, a partner may make known his or her intention to marry their partner. Ghanaians who follow this tradition believe marriage is a joining to two families and thus, they are to be present in the decision-making right from the beginning. It’s truly a family affair. More information can be found on Knotting.org.

The couple are pictured in the capitol city of Accra, as Cary flew himself, family and his best friend to Ghana to ask my parents for my hand in marriage. Daniella’s parents, and even her 95-year-old grandmother who got to be present at the knocking, were all impressed and have said yes to their betrothal. In their photoshoot to mark the occasion, Daniella wore kente, which is the traditional cloth of Ghana, while Cary wore a suit to represent his Western roots. Only after Daniella’s family accepts his proposal is Cary able to change into a Ghanaian kaftan, symbolizing he has successfully entered her culture.

On May 13, 2022, Cary proposed to Daniella with a ring by taking her to a chef’s table experience at a swanky restaurant in Washington, DC. The couple are thinking about September 2023 for their wedding festivities.